Les Chic, Les Chien (Week One)

Each week, I review one hundred looks, half of which induce the phonetic uh-mey-zing and half of which induce more violent vomit than the night Jake chose Vienna. With this series (translation: the cool, the rotten), you will ascertain, via my eyes, why an ensemble should spend an evening as your apparel or why an ensemble should spend an evening inside a nondescript box whose ultimate destination is the Salvation Army.

Jessica Alba absolutely enraptures me as she exquisitely melds refined; a sumptuous red dress, black and gold tote, and black heels; and rocker, a fierce leather jacket and oversized cat sunnies.

Shenae Grimes and Jessica Stroup, 9-0-2-1-Oh Hell No as the actress upon the left, who once portrayed a transient, disgusts in a shirt she obviously swiped from someone sleeping upon Third and Olive's corner, while the actress upon the right, whose next project's centerpiece is a talking bear, abhorrently pairs a top was once a Massillion-Washington junior's memento and a skirt which was once a lamp shade inside a home upon the corner of Lillian Gish Boulevard and Lincoln Way East.

They Just Have The Glow

What To Expect When Your Expecting, an eclectic and whimsical adaptation of Heidi Murkoff’s “Bible of American Pregnancy,” premieres Friday. Below are the film’s five fabulous actresses, each of who’s apparel is as compelling as the performance they will hopefully deliver this weekend.

Cameron Diaz, one of my personal favorites as well as this month's In Style cover icon, emanates the exuberance of a Charms Blow Pop and a plush Minnie Mouse in this sprightly white blouse, army green jacket, and cropped jeans. America's most beloved bad teacher earns an extra ounce of acclaim courtesy her adorbs sunnies and side bob. Love <3

Jennifer Lopez sets the standard for scrumptious and seductive in this pink popped white mini which exquisitely accentuates a pair of incomparable cage heels which my boyfriend should purchase for me NOW.

Elizabeth Banks, with whom I'm recently and seriously OBSESSED, superbly couples boho and tribal in this completely fun sweater, striped shirt, vanilla infused bag, and jeans.

Anna Kendrick, whose ensembles consistently resemble those of Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Second Baseman Howie Kendrick, illustrates the importance of exemplary airport attire and reacquires her femininity in this flirty floral scarf, relaxed tan jacket, black skinny jeans, and brown wedges.

Brooklyn Decker, whose second cinematic endeavor of this summer, Battle Ship, also premieres this weekend, absolutely owns this shimmering gray long sleeved dress, which she curiously pops with this camel colored skinny belt.

Open Your Eyes

Sunnies, my obvi signature word if you read Doll Maison everyday (and you should), evoke summer’s essence with an intensity which rivals sandals and shorts. Sadly, a lamentable fraction only considers function, depreciating shades as merely eyewear. Why? As I illustrate, via six spectacular pairs, sunglasses can be a transcendent accessory.

While I have a permanent infatuation with all which is Michael Kors, I especially adore these  'Griffin' Retro Sunglasses ($105), whose white hue are the must color trend this summer.

Everyone from the thirty-five year old seated opposite you outside the ice cream shop to the twenty-one year old lying opposite you upon the beach will be severely jelly when they glimpse you rocking these Bvlgari 'Limited Edition' Cat's Eye Sunglasses ($650).

Christian Lacroix, I am beyond words impressed with the incomparable trim which adorn is these Metal Sunglasses ($270). Totes amaze!

I ADORE, and I wish I could publish the previous word within seventy-two point Arial Black, Prada sunnies! Literally. These 'Baroque' Round Sunglasses ($290) will superbly embellish your face, eliciting even the envy of Miranda Priestly herself.

I love me nude and tan almost as much as I love me white and Givenchy satiated both of my desires, intermixing caramel, nude, tan, and white within these  incorporated Oversized Round Sunglasses ($290). I die!

Assuming you L-O-V-E Ray Bans (and who wouldn't), you will rapture when you purchase these audacious and provocative Wayfarers ($160). Slip these on and be feelin hella cool tonight!

Fourth Grade Choice

Fashion Star’s championship episode saw the aspiring designers envisioning and executing nine ensembles overall, a trio for each of the retailers. Following three merchant specific showcases and a caucus which included both the buyers and the mentors, Kara Laricks, the former teacher who amassed this season’s most purchases (eight) and revenue ($630,000),was selected as the combatant whose pieces will populate hangers inside H&M, Macy’s, and Saks Fifth Avenue.

I positively adore this white mini ($325), which one can observe both inside the aforementioned Saks Fifth Avenue and upon Dictionary.com directly under the phonetic ver-sa-til-i-ty. Pair this piece, a spring and summer must have, with enchanting jewelry and shoes, ostentatious diamonds, or sophisticated pearls.

This Amanda Blouse ($70) is a superlative compliment for either these Michael Shorts ($60), a bootcut or skinny pair of jeans. If only the shorts are your selection, conclude your attire with a floral or printed top.

I climax my compressed review of Kara's ingenious collection, which includes more than thirty pieces, with this utilitarian romper ($40). Accentuate this apparel with vivid jewelry and a dazzling pair of heels or wedges from my Sunday Shoe Series (Keep Makin Me Ill). I especially love (emphasize LOVE) the thought of this article with the exquisite Jessica Simpson (Fashion Star judge of course!) 'Blairee' Sandals I profiled this past weekend.

Apples of Our Eyes

After eight silly, sexy, and saucy seasons, Desperate Housewives aired their one hundred and seventy-ninth and conclusive one hundred and eightieth episodes Sunday. In honor of ABC’s fourth longest one hour scripted series, I present Wisteria Lane’s signature quartet whose ensembles were consistently as scrumptious as the forbidden fruit which symbolized their show.

Eva Longoria (Gabrielle Solis), sauntering with aplomb, owns this insouciant printed maxi dress, which she accents with oversized black sunnies, black wedges sandals, and a blue tote which mirrors her attire. Gabi, your response when Sister Mary Bernard once opined money can't buy happiness, is my mantra. Sure it can! That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.

Marcia Cross (Bree Van de Kamp) exemplifies relaxed in a nonchalant blue cardigan, white tank, and boyfriend jeans with a studded belt, brown sunnies, brown sandals, and a brown shoulder bag. Bree, I absolutely share your opinion, I love sex. I love everything about it: the sensations, the smells, I especially love the feel of a man pressed against my body.

Felicty Huffman (Lynette Scavo) radiates sempiternal elegance with a modern twist in a floral and embellished knee length dress and precious teardrop earrings. Lynette, every significant other should share Tom's ingenuity, they should find ways to compliment us when they could just say they told us so.

Teri Hatcher (Susan Mayer-Delfino) charms in an adorable silver and gold blouse and dark washed jeans, accentuated with delightful earrings and a shimmery clutch. Susan, your sentiment exquisitely encapsulated this program's tenure, some people never get to know the folks next door. They share a fence and nothing else. We've shared everything. How'd we get so lucky?

Keep Makin' Me Ill (Week Three)

I have what the unenlightened would deride as a compulsion, fetish, infatuation, or obsession, yet I value as a virus every male and female should contract, Seriously Irresistible Shoes Syndrome. I need clothes (how many consecutive afternoons can one wear Lauren Conrad leggings? Love you LC), however when I even glimpse espadrilles, flats, sandals, stilettos, or wedges; necessities be damned! My eyes shimmer, my heart flutters, and within two hours, I’m reorganizing my closet because last week’s pair has new neighbors.

These eighteen carat spectacular Brian Atwood 'Consort' Sandals ($194) will not only regally accentuate a club required sparkly top and seductive jeans, forty percent has been slashed from their previous price ($325).

Strikingly artistic via their adventurous brush strokes of floral, these Yves Saint Laurent (YSL) 'Riviera' Sandals ($745) embed the initial and second syllable within versatility. Pair them with a red top, bold black jewelry, and white skinny jeans or a little black, red, or white dress.

These kaleidoscopic Paloma Barcelo Sandals ($250) are potentially the most fun and functional pair of shoes I have showcased, effortlessly amplified with a solid bright dress or subdued with a solid top and pants.

I absolutely die for these peerless Jessica Simpson 'Blairee' Sandals ($89), exquisite for pairing with dresses, jeans, skirts; and since my boyfriend edits each of my posts and we have his nephew's graduation party next weekend, hint, hint! :)

These ferocious, yet flirty Sam Edelman 'Myer' Sandals ($110) will simultaneously ensnare a frenemie's spite and a hottie's lust when worn with a printed top and an ultra hot pair of boot cut or skinny jeans.